We knew it would come to this: The world would not be enough for Doritos tortilla chips. They are now searching for extraterrestrial consumers with a TV ad that will be broadcast into space.
Doritos has done the market research, and they’ve decided that the system 47 UMa, only 42 light years away, has a good chance containing planets that may support the kind of terrestrial life forms that crave the tangy crunch of Doritos.
Given that scientists have yet to find life outside our solar system, the idea that life “out there” would be able to eat chips and would be receptive to snack marketing strikes me as a bit presumptive. But no matter. There are plenty of geeks here on Earth who think this is cool. But how exactly do you advertise in space?
Doritos teamed up with scientists from the University of Leicester and EISCAT, a European scientific organization that operates a series of radar transmitters. The British public will decide what message is fitting for aliens as part of Dorito’s UK consumer-generated ad campaign, called “You Make It, We Play It.” The ad will be coded in ‘1’s and ‘0’s, travel at the speed of light through the universe, and if all goes as planned, it will be mathematically reassembled by the target audience.
And what will happen after aliens become enticed by on the delicious flavor and crunch of Doritos? They will invade. They will infiltrate our vending machines, convenience stores, gas stations, school cafeterias, children’s fundraising snack boxes, and our own homes, until they have consumed every last Cool Ranch, Nacho Cheese, Blazin’ Buffalo Ranch, and Sizzlin’ Picante chip. Only the tasty powder smears from the aliens’ Dorito-stained fingers will remain to tell Earth’s final tale.
Thanks, Doritos.
Their not doing this to advertise to aliens. Their making people look at this and say “cool I got try these since those guys are sending a signal to a distant galaxy to advertise them” Never the less doritos are good chips.
Lindsay, the verdict is in. You are funny!
Deborah
Your essay is so fantastic that I read it with curiosity from begining to end.I want to know whether the life outside our solar system invades? I think so.The idea of ad is creative.Attracting the attention of humans,it will attract them.
(a message from a chinese student)
Great minds think alike, and so do ours.
“And what will happen after aliens become enticed by on the delicious flavor and crunch of Doritos? They will invade.”
This is precisely the direction my mind took me.
[shudders]
I, for one, welcome our new Dorito-loving alien overlords.
As a friend said, this gives new meaning to having a ‘Dorito attack.’ Mass quantities of whole corn, vegetable oil, salt, and cheddar cheese for all!
This Doritos in space initiative raises some troubling issues. First, assuming that any alien race capable of decoding the commercial would also be capable of analyzing the images and then creating their own cheese-flavored, chip-like snack, this could finally help spread our own planet’s obesity epidemic to other worlds. But I suppose this could be a good thing if the aliens are hostile and were planning to invade earth. Clog their arteries with enough MSG and they won’t have the energy to invade.
Second, what if a Doritos ad is the first Earth message received by alien life forms? What sort of message does this send about us? Will the aliens even bother responding?
But seriously, I think that Doritos should be applauded for its unparalleled and forward looking entrepreneurial spirit. Why should any company be limited to Earth-based advertising? The Universe is immense. Limitless, actually. Which means that there’s endless opportunity for Doritos (and, presumably, Funyuns, Combos, Ruffles and Pringles)to not only exploit but to create entirely new markets for carb-heavy snack foods.
Citizens of Earth, take pride.
Thanks to everybody for commenting! I apologize that your comments did not show up until now - we’re still working out some kinks in my blog.
That said, I cannot wait until Doritos answers the question of whether we are alone in the universe, once and for all. And I agree with Jeremy - the advertising has officially entered the intergalactic age.